An Anecdote

Three years into my military career, I switched from the US Air Force to the US Army. One of the inprocessing actions was to meet with the unit Chaplain.

So, I did. We had a perfectly congenial conversation.

On my way out the door, his assistant asked me if I was religious. I replied that I was not.

He told me "You will be, the first time you get IED'd"

He was wrong. I never sought deliverance from a higher power, even in the most dire of circumstances, IED-born or otherwise.

Getting mortared is a strange experience. Modern technology being what it is, we usually have advance warning that a mortar is incoming.

This leaves you with 30 seconds to basically run for a bunker or shelter in-place in your trailer. It seems cliche, but 30 seconds can seem like an incredibly long time.

Hunkered down in my trailer under my bunk and body armor, it never even occurred to me to pray.

Atheists DO exist in foxholes. And usually we're just angry about the religious idiocy that leads to wars in the first place.

Pleased to meet you, I would like to re-introduce myself.

Good evening (or other temporally appropriate greeting). I have returned.

I was gone for a bit of a stretch there, not without cause.

Let me explain:

I (an individual) deployed to a foreign country (a state I was unaffiliated with) to engage in various acts of state-sponsored depravity (war).

I learned things.

Mostly I learned that whenever you combine the natural trend of xenophobia with a logically congruent output, you get violence.

I was there a total of 14 months. That's a rough one.

I'll be around.

The Fatal Flaw in the 12 Steps

While I like to think of myself as an "alcohol gourmet", I am what a lot of people refer to bluntly as a drunk, and more verbosely as an insane drunk. This has led to a lot of fun times and a lot of astonishingly embarrassing and irresponsible behavior on my part. Booze has been a determining factor in basically every major disaster in my life.

Alcoholics Anonymous and its twelve-step program tells me that this isn't my fault. It encourages me to embrace powerlessness and to look for a higher power to correct this problem for me.

In short, it negates personal responsibility for my behavior, no matter how deplorable, by encouraging me to believe that I am the victim of a disease I can never hope to control. It tells me that I do not have the power, on my own, to overcome my drinking problem.

The twelve-step program wants me to believe that I am an addict who cannot help himself.

Of course, this is all bullshit. I drink because I have badly misplaced priorities and I generally value the short-term reward of being drunk over the long-term benefits of having friends and a functional liver. This is entirely my own personality flaw to understand, take responsibility for, and correct.

Studies have shown, repeatedly, that the relapse rate is nearly identical for substance abusers in twelve-step programs, and users in no program at all.* I, myself, am a veteran of the 12-step program (Command mandated, of course) and look at all the good it has done me. Additionally, a full-blown relapse has been shown to be significantly more likely for an addict who accepts the disease theory and reliance on a higher power as the primary mechanism of recovery.

AA basically transposes one addiction into another. The program is positively cult-like and reinforces itself through group-think. Anyone who truly believes that AA is the only thing keeping them sober has become indoctrinated into this bizarre mentality. What's the solution, when you're craving a drink? "Get to a meeting!" In other words, "Get your fix!"

What this ignores is the need for a realistic system of coping mechanisms.

The twelve steps of the program are rife with the usual brainwashing techniques, as well. Once the unsuspecting inductee has been convinced that they have no control over their own life, the next logical step is to look to the program and to God to correct all of these wrongs for them. (Steps 3, 5, 6, and 11).

Of course, like any good self-replicating thought virus, the hook is always the same. Step 12: Spread the word and indoctrinate more people. Of course, the first of the twelve traditions reinforces this: "Our common welfare comes first; personal recovery depends on AA unity." In other words, remember that you'll never make it outside the flock.

Oh, did I mention that the whole process kind of falls apart if you have no higher power to put all your trust and faith into? Yeah, that's relevant. What's my higher power? Where is the God to "remove my shortcomings", "as I understand him"? There's no one there. No one is listening. The sky wizard is not out there on the sidelines, ready to wave his wand and fix my drinking problem.

That's a problem I have to fix on my own. I can't displace my behavior and desires onto some amorphous, extra-personal vagary of addiction and powerlessness.

Semantics, and missing the point...

Stumbled upon this Washington Post article through my news reader. For the most part it's just a demographic breakdown of believers, but one paragraph grabbed my attention.

"A belief in God or a higher spirit is pervasive. Even Americans who describe themselves as atheist or agnostic have a robust sense of a higher power: Twenty-one percent of those who describe themselves as atheists expressed a belief in God or a universal spirit, and more than half of those who call themselves agnostic expressed a similar conviction."

Thankfully, they followed it up with this:

"(The researchers) said some people may identify with the term atheist or agnostic without fully understanding the definition, or they have a negative view of organized religion, even though they believe in God."

Definitively speaking, an Atheist is specifically someone who does not believe in a diety. A "weak" Atheist would usually assert that the evidence is lacking. A "strong" Atheist would assert that the evidence disproves God(s) or that God is a logically impossible concept. An agnostic either believes there is not enough evidence, or that the answer is unknowable. I am a "strong" Atheist.

Atheism is not a movement or an ideology. Innately, it has no dogma. It is a word used to describe a lack of belief in a specific thing.

What is irritating about this article is the way the excerpts were phrased. "Even Americans who describe themselves as Atheist or Agnostic have a robust sense of a higher power." Even with the context that follows, the phrasing is subliminally positing one of the "arguments" I hear all the time: "There is no such thing as an Atheist". The exegesis of this mentality is rooted in the idea that people are born as believers and anyone who claims disbelief is simply in denial. I've addressed this in an earlier post but I think the rebuttal bears repeating: a lack of belief (negative assertion) can be as strong a conviction as positive belief. The cost for me, if I'm wrong about Hell and the Christian God, is the ultimate price: an eternity of limitless torture. I understand the myth, and I reject it for the same reasons I reject Zeus, Santa Claus, and werewolves. I have never encountered a proof for the existence of a deity which was logically consistent within its own framework, nor have I seen any empirical evidence that has any potential to alter my perspective. I accept the scientific process for its proven track record; if solid evidence for God were to appear, I would re-evaluate my conclusions. Incidentally, in such a scenario, God would not be supernatural because he or it would be explained by observable, falsifiable, and reproducible evidence. The very nature of the supernatural is that it does not meet any of these evidentiary criterion.

There are a lot of people like me.

What aggravates me, is when people self-apply the moniker of "Atheist" when it is not an accurate term for their belief structure. It reinforces the mentality that skeptics and nonbelievers are closet theists in denial about their own latent spirituality.

So, if you don't go to church, don't pray, don't follow the dogmas you were raised with, dislike organized religion, and consider yourself an all-around "religious moderate", but do still believe in some form of supernatural higher power, please don't call yourself an Atheist. You're misapplying an adjective and reinforcing inaccurate stereotypes in the process.

Memorial Day

I wrote this while I was on R+R. For some reason (web outage, I think) I never got around to posting it. Just a short blurb.

Also, Paul has since been diagnosed with Leukemia.

The Atheist Ethicist pretty much nailed it with this article. There is a huge dilemma here. The pledge of allegiance has been discussed at length by myself and others.

I'm on R+R from Iraq right now. I will not be attending any parades or memorial services. We had a small get together yesterday, myself and some other active duty guys and veterans, and some family friends.

God never came up once. But the 299 members of the Armed Forces who died in the Lebanon bombings did. My new friend Paul was there when it happened. He's seen some shit. One of the few people here in the States that I'm finding I connect with easily. People seem very switched off and willfully ignorant of the war.

This post is a little off-topic, I know. I just think, sometimes, it's important to remember these things.

Repeating an old lie

So, the Pope was in New York last week. Did you know that Pope Benedict was a Hitler Youth during his teen years? Check this article out:

http://atheism.about.com/od/benedictxvi/i/RatzingerNazi.htm

For those too lazy to read it, the article is a basic biography of Joseph Ratzinger AKA Pope Benedict the 16th's involvement with the Hitler Youth and the German Army. Do I think that he was or is, ideologically, a Nazi? Absolutely not. But he also did not actively resist the persecutions of the Nazi regime enough to even draw interest of the Gestapo.

During his visit to New York, Pope Benedict dropped this little number:

"My own years as a teenager were marred by a sinister regime that thought it had all the answers; its influence grew — infiltrating schools and civic bodies, as well as politics and even religion — before it was fully recognized for the monster it was. It banished God and thus became impervious to anything true and good," he said.

I wonder...

“Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord.”

“[The Jew’s] life is only of this world, and his spirit is inwardly as alien to true Christianity as his nature two thousand years previous was to the great founder of the new doctrine. Of course, the latter made no secret of his attitude toward the Jewish people, and when necessary he even took to the whip to drive from the temple of the Lord this adversary of all humanity, who then as always saw in religion nothing but an instrument for his business existence.”

Who else? Adolph Hitler, from Mein Kampf. Despite what you have probably been told, Hitler was not Atheist. He was Catholic, or at least had strong Catholic leanings. The Nazi regime did not "banish God", they prosecuted a centuries-old theistically rooted hatred of Jews with the knowledge and collusion of the Catholic church. Remember, the Vatican only very recently lifted the charge of "deicide" against the Jews for killing Christ. That's right. The Catholic church has collectively held all Jews since the 1st century AD responsible for the murder of Jesus.


What "Joe Rats", as I like to call him, is doing here is repeating the same tired old myth that Hitler was an Atheist... this in tandem with "Expelled" coming out in theaters last week. It's a continual effort to equate the Holocaust with secularism. This is straw man bigotry at it's finest... "I hate atheists. If atheism was responsible for the Holocaust, instead of a centuries-old cultural paradigm of Christian anti-semitism, it would make sense for me to hate them. How can I square this circle? I know. I'll ignore Hitler's obvious support for and from the Catholic church and frequent references to his Christian spirituality in his writing, and say he was an Atheist. And since Hitler was both an Atheist and the man responsible for the Holocaust, it makes sense for me to hate Atheists. Problem solved."

And that, boys and girls, is where bigotry comes from.

I don't even have it in me to get into the rest of his speech... maybe later.

"Sergeant, I'm not on this list"

We're currently conducting a contract changeover for all the interpreters. Their current employer was underbid by a competitor. If the interpreters want to have a job next month, they have to re-do their contracts with the new company. They're making $100 more a month, so they're happy.

We're filling out the forms and I'm running crowd control (60 Arabs, Kurds, Assyrians and Turks in the chow hall, getting fueled up on sugary snacks and soft drinks... it's chaos in four languages). One of the linguists motions me over.

"Sergeant, I'm not on this list."

I look at the list. There are four options.
1) Christian
2) Sunni Muslim
3) Shia Muslim
4) Other

I don't get to work with this guy as much as I would like, and I'm ashamed to admit I don't know his religion. Reading and writing is not a requirement for these guys, just speaking proficiency, so I'm thinking he's just having a problem understanding the paperwork.

"Well, Jeff, what religion are you?"

He turns his face towards the table and doesn't say anything.

"Jeff? You can tell me. I won't tell anyone else. You're not the only guy who works for me that isn't a Muslim."

This can be an enormously sensitive issue the way things are in Iraq... racial and religious differences are a huge part of the social structure. I have Assyrian Christian interpreters who regularly get extorted by armed gangs when they come and go from their neighborhoods, and Shia Muslims that are terrified to conduct operations in certain areas, as just a few examples. The Turks that work for me just generally have an awful time fitting in and tend to stick close with other Turks. Forced integration does not work well in this country and I'm sure as hell not about to try it on the FOB.

Jeff looks at me.

"I don't know the word. We say secular. It means I don't believe in any of it."

It just about broke my heart. Here's Jeff (not his real name, of course), obviously ashamed at what he's just admitted, hanging his head and avoiding eye contact with me.

"You don't have a religion, Jeff?"

He continues to look at the table. Slowly nods his head.

My Atheism is not a fact I hide, but it's not something I volunteer, either. If people proselytize to me, or ask my religion, I answer honestly. Some of my guys know I'm Atheist, some don't. I'm pretty sure my 1SG doesn't know, because it's never come up. I don't "out" myself (unless someone sees my tattoos or dog tags) but I made an exception in this case.

"Jeff, I don't either. In America they call me an Atheist, which means I don't believe in any gods. I don't go to church and I don't practice a religion. So you can write Atheist, or secular, or just leave it blank. I don't think they need to know your religion as much as they need to know you speak four languages.

Jeff started writing. I didn't read over his shoulder, but I could tell from the look on his face that he was definitely not expecting this sort of response.

So, I have to correct my previous post. At least 1% of my interpreters have no religion. It's difficult being an Atheist in America. For Jeff, it is a very real life and death situation. The Koran mandates death for all apostates, and this country is crawling with hardline extremists. I admire his integrity and his courage.

EDIT 1200 18 APR 2008
Ran into "Jeff" again this morning while I was working more contracts. Turns out he has his own library in his house devoted to secular philosophy and was excited to discover that I'm an avid reader. Invited him to come by some time and borrow as many books as he likes. Then he dropped this on me:

"I find that most issues in my life can be resolved by applying the principles of Marx' materialist duality. You'll see aspects of it in all civilized societies, even those that aren't communist. I have a bachelor's degree in mathematics and another in psychology. We should drink tea some time."

So, obviously, Jeff is not fucking around.

So you're a bigot, right?

I would like to address here the notion that my highly negative opinion of religion has any effect whatsoever on my ability to interact with people of faith.

My profession is that of combat arms. I am a forward observer, an indirect fire support specialist. My job is basically to bring the most lethal weapon systems on the battlefield into play against the enemy.

Recently, however, I have been tasked with a new job. I am the linguist manager for my unit. What that means, basically, is that I supervise and look out for the needs of a large collection of local national interpreters who work on this base.

Almost 100% of my interpreters are Muslim. Those who aren't are Christian. I know this because I am also responsible for their spiritual needs. If the chow hall doesn't serve a non-pork option at meals, I'm up in arms. They're free to use the Chapel (although few do, because our chapel [and our Chaplain] are overtly Christian). I make sure they have time and space to pray. In most respects, it's not much different from supervising Soldiers.

How did I get this job? I was originally supposed to fill-in for one month while my predecessor went on leave. After about a week, my employees circulated a petition behind my back and gave it to the base commander. Practically every one of them had signed it (over fifty signatures). They said that they wanted me to stay in the position permanently because I treated them fairly, and with respect, and made great efforts to look out for their welfare... which my predecessor never did.

I never allow my personal opinion of religion to interfere with the common respect that everyone is entitled to, regardless of race, creed, or nationality. When my employees ask my religion, I tell them I have none and explain what Atheism means. For many of them, it's the first time they've met someone who is not religious. Some of them jokingly tell me I'm going to hell, and then offer me a cup of tea, or a seat at the dinner table. Never once have I gotten the impression that they have any less trust or respect for me because of this.

In short, we have a common understanding based on mutual respect that supersedes our personal differences. I would love to live in a world where everyone had such a good relationship.

Roundup, part two

More of the usual...

"Even if it isn't true, religion is good for the world."
Wrong. Did Islam do the world any favors on 9/11? The perpetrators of those attacks were very devout. Catholic anti-contraceptive dogma is contributing to the deaths of millions from the AIDS virus. The name of God is on my money and in the oaths and pledges of my country; has this done anything to stem the tide of teen pregnancy, drug addiction, and violent crime in the US? If religion provides good moral guidance, why are almost all prison inmates in the US believers?

"You're disrespecting my beliefs."
Yes, I am, much as I am disrespected when people assume I still believe in fairy tales, and then react with anger and threats when I disavow them of this misguided notion. It's insulting.

"I'm going to pray for you."
I think it's awesome that you're exercising your constitutionally protected right to believe and practice as you see fit. Now please have the common courtesy to pray less loudly and less directly into my ear. I've already showered today.

"Atheism is another word for Satanism"
You're closer to that than I am. You actually believe in Satan.

"Even if you don't believe in God, he believes in you."
And who are you to speak for him? Let him tell me himself.

"There is no such thing as an Atheist."
Spare me. This usually comes hand-in-hand with "Deep down, you believe in God". No, I don't. Think of it this way: For me to reject the notion of (for example) the Christian God, I am committing the unforgivable sin of blaspheming against and denying the holy spirit. This means that, being fully aware of "God's word", having read the bible, raised in a religious environment, having listened to hundreds of imploring speeches from the "true faithful", living in a society so inundated with religion that it controls our language, our laws, our economy, and our policy, I continue to deny the existence of God despite every opportunity to change my mind. Considering that the cost of being wrong, in this case, is an eternity of the most unimaginable tortures, I have to be pretty convinced that I'm not fucking this up.

Trust me, there is such thing as an Atheist. I have no glimmer of belief in God, Jesus, Mithra, YHWH, Vishnu, or any of the other Iron-age myths that are still so popular in this day and age.

Quick Roundup

Some common questions, answers, and accusations.

"Why don't you believe in God?"
There is no evidence to support or indicate the existence of God, and mythology-free explanations for the current state of the universe make empirically consistent sense.

"Why do you hate God?"
I don't. Do you hate Santa Claus?

"How can you have ethics without God?"
I wrote an essay about this. The short version is that I don't need to be supervised to do the right thing. Would you behave in a less than ethical manner if you didn't think big brother was watching?

"Do you believe in evolution?"
Yes. I am convinced through evidence that the nonrandom process of natural selection has led to long-term biological mutation and diversification from a common ancestor between apes and humans, and that this process has been going on since the beginning of life on earth. I also believe in cosmological evolution on a grander scale which will probably end up requiring its own essay to explain.

"God's love is real, but you obviously don't feel it."
Great. Am I then condemned to Hell on account of an apparent disability which has no physiological origin? Love is just an abstraction you use to explain a feeling (or more likely, a group of feelings). Show me the "God Love" sensory organ and associated neural processing centers.

"You can't disprove God."
Thankfully, I don't have to. You're the one who believes in an invisible sky wizard. Prove it.